Schmoo

With all the writing and thinking about family, the below pictures are of my baby brother Joseph, his wife Ashley and their baby girl Madison. Joe and I share the same dad, and he looks JUST like him. I will admit to tearing up a wee bit when we reconnected.

Ashley and Madison. Absoltuley beautiful!

Things we hand down...

Nature versus nurture.
I can honestly say that I never truly gave it any thought until recentley.

Which is odd, because when it comes to blended families, I have most of the bases covered. My biological parents, when together, had just moi. However, I have my stepfather, biological father, biological mother, step mother, (8) Half Brothers and sisters and just oodles of step and biological aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. My step-family really isn’t my step-family, they took me in when I was 3 and I wouldn’t trade them for the universe. I was blessed to be given loving Grandparents and a dad who love me very much.
For as long as I can remember, I have been the “odd man out”. I don’t have a full family history of where it is that I come from. When I was younger, I would be jealous that my 3 younger siblings had parents that were still together and knew their full family tree.
However, the irony comes into play that most people tell me I look, laugh and am a “people” person, like my biological father. There has to be something to the nature thing. I look nothing like anyone from my mother’s gene pool, to the extent; people actually ask her if I was adopted.

My mother and I share absolutely nothing in common. Nothing. Not one thing.
Okay, our love of going to our place up-north and the water, but I also share that with my Aunts. I am stubborn and bad tempered to the point of ridiculous, which is something that my maternal grandfather was to a fault.
But at the end of the day, I am my father’s daughter. I find a strange comfort in that connection. People and places that I do not know, are a part of what makes me, me. The older I get, the more I want the complete novel. I want to be able to answer the question at the Dr’s office “What is your father’s medical history” with something other than “no clue”. Does he like the smell of pumpkin too? What is his favorite color? Does he think clowns are scary and should be banished forever? (I had to get that from somewhere, just saying)
My oldest and dearest friend Cindy just told me that she is expecting her first child. There are many things that I get to tell that little one about her mom. “There was this one time after school, your mom stuck up to a bully who was wearing a scary skull ring, and she punched her, and then said “Run like hell”. I wonder what parts of her will continue on with the new little one? Will she protest big hair too? Will she bake kick arse blueberry muffins from scratch? Would she know how to change the spark plugs in my car for me? When did Cindy and become adults anyway????
Will my children be as stubborn as I? Love scary movies? Be naturally bossy? Think with their heart instead of their head? When I adopt, what history will those children have? What things handed down in their own book of life?

I suppose I will do the best I can to hand over my full story when it is time for them to start writing their own pages in.




Don't know much about you

Don't know who you are

We've been doing fine without you

But we could only go so far

Don't know why you chose us

Were you watching from above

s there someone there that knows us Said we'd give you all our love

Will you laugh just like your mother

Will you sigh like your old man

Will some things skip a generation Like I've heard they often can

Are you a poet or a dancer

A devil or a clown

Or a strange new combination of The things we've handed down

I wonder who you'll look like

Will your hair fall down and curl

Will you be a mama's boy

Or daddy's little girl

Will you be a sad reminder Of what's been lost along the way

Maybe you can help me find her In the things you do and say A

nd these things that we have given you

They are not so easily found But you can thank us later

For the things we've handed down Y

ou may not always be so grateful For the way that you were made

Some feature of your father's That you'd gladly sell or trade

And one day you may look at us And say that you were cursed

But over time that line has been Extremely well rehearsed

By our fathers, and their fathers

In some old and distant town

From places no one here remembers Come the things we've handed down
-Marc Cohen

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen
13 Things most people do not know about me
1) I am afraid of the dark.
2) I am addicted to shows about the Duggar Family (They have 17 children)
3) I love Monster Trucks
4) At all times I have at least 8 different kinds of breakfast cereal in the pantry
5) I know how to milk a cow
6) I am an excellent swimmer
7) I cannot rollerblade to save my life
8) I can do a mean cartwheel
9) Sneezing freaks me out
10) 13 is my lucky number

11) I love the smell of pumpkin guts
12) I am wicked good at Monopoly
13) I Belly Dance

Worldless Wednesday Part Deux

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
~Oscar Wilde~

This post is for Stephen (Snooks), who continually wonders why he has yet to appear in any of my musings.

As a rule, I generally hate to admit that past loves taught me anything, but I would not have found my "right instead of left" without him. There would be no Oscar Wilde Verbeke, Salem Massachusets, Lillikins, Bunnicula, Mayflower Bookshop, Ska or love of Beouglious. Oh! and the phrase "ooglies in the closet" ;) If there is ever enough interesting stories to write the "Book of Boo" you would be "The Stoney Creek Years".

I recieved this and it made me giggle...

FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE US,
THE LOSERS WHO HAD US,
AND THE LUCKY PEOPLE WHO WILL MEET US!!

Wordless Wednesday

Sometimes it doesn't take a ton of bricks, just a dvd...

Alice:
I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!

Richard Hovey:
I do not know beneath what sky nor on what seas shall be thy fate; I only know it shall be high, I only know it shall be great.

Where does your faith come from?
You, yes you reading my blog post. I have always had faith of one type or another. I have even had really great discussions with friends and lovers who had none. Zip. Zero. Ziltch. But I have always been able to explain my reasons for why there is something bigger and greater then us. A divine that loves us, watches over us, and that there is something bigger and better when this field trip here is over. I have also been known to say "There is no such thing as coincidence".

That said, there have many times in my life, when I felt like throwing in the towel. I can throw a tremendous pity party. I can include you on the next invite list. Poor, pitiful me. Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, and now I shall just eat worms.

I think because I am so stubborn and generally blocking out what I do not want to see or hear, that any signs given to be by the Divine have to be unconventional. This, was something that hit me during a Sunday afternoon pity party while watching Season Two of Ghost Whisperer, the entire thing, eating Oreo’s and wondering why oh why I am cursed. (At this point you can take 10 seconds to roll your eyes).

Faith isn’t easy. Up until now I have taken it for granted and whined when I felt I was being let down in this lifetime. In fact, true faith is hard. My destiny is not going to be handed to me on a piece of fine China with Map quest directions and a nice cup of tea.
How fabulous would that be btw???

I, am officially declaring that I have been an apathetic and uber lazy person of faith. I throw my hands to the sky and agree that cause and effect and whining, has kicked my arse.
I have no fing clue where my faith comes from. It just is. Lucky enough to faith ingrained into my soul, but never nourished. I have to fight to make it stronger. Treat it like the gift that it is, not take it for granted. No matter how much I ponder something, that doesn’t change what is fact. No amount of shoe shopping and oreo's is going to give me resolution. No one from above is going to show up and participate at my pity party. I am confident they will show up when I take responsibility for my destiny.
The Ghost Whisperer sign? I decided that I don't want my soul stuck here with any unfinished business, I am cranky enough as it is without throwing "limbo" into the mix. :)


Mind you, taking this new responsibilty with fabu new shoes...

Happy Birthday Mikey!!

Today my other baby brother turns 25!

Happy Birthday Mikey!!!!!!!! Though at 6'3 he can pretty much pick me up and toss me out of his way, he is still my baby brother that I didn't want. :)

"Becky, how would you like a brother or sister?" "No thank you"

It seems like yesterday my parents came home with E.T wrapped in a blanket. One of my favorite games was to shove him as fast as I could down our hallway in our stroller so that he bounced off of my parent's bedroom door. There doesn't appear to be any brain damage, but only time will truly tell. :)

25 years later I am glad he is here and I am very proud of him and love him very much.

Need to have this tattooed on my arm...

“One of life's best coping mechanisms is to know the difference between an inconvenience and a problem. If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you've got a problem. Everything else is an inconvenience. Life is inconvenient. Life is lumpy. A lump in the oatmeal, a lump in the throat and a lump in the breast are not the same kind of lump. One needs to learn the difference.”-Robert Fulghum

Manic Monday: Kit

Kits of any kind suck me right in. However, before continuing through this post, please refer to the one titled “Gingerbread is the devil”
It was a dark a stormy night…actually it was a sunny afternoon, but where is the drama in that? I was innocently grocery shopping when there it was: “Wilson Haunted House Gingerbread Kit” Out of all the Meijer’s in the entire world, it had to walk into mine. The kit of my worst nightmares. My biggest holiday food disaster. The kit known round the world, or at least my kitchen as “El Diablo” (and I am not even Spanish speaking)
*insert a bum, bum, BUM!*
FUN! It taunted. Easy! It screamed. Even a (6) month old couldn’t mess this up Becky!!!!!!!!!!! (That is the part where my imagination got the best of me) I held that kit in my hands for a good while. Pondering the fact that maybe THIS time, I could make the picture on the front of the kit.
The kit was sucking me in again. The spooky, yet edible holiday treat, adorable on any Halloween table! “What is $9.99 plus tax between old friends?” “I promise this time will be different! I am not like the other kits!” “You can’t just leave me here like this!”
“Frankly Halloween Gingerbread Kit, I don’t give a damn…” *insert sad music*
Then, really, really, really hoping I hadn’t spoken any of that aloud, I went to continue on my grocery shopping extravaganza, sans Halloween Gingerbread House Kit.

Sticks and Stones

One of the great things about taking the long way is being able to sit and realize that life really is journey of lessons. One of my “I think I am kind of wise” things to say is “everything happens for a reason”. I believe that to my very core. I also like that to think, it is for that reason, that those upstairs watching over us, do not give us a “re-do” button.
One of my favorite Robert Fulgum quotations is: “Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will break our hearts.”
I was told today, that someone I had barely worked with commented that she “had nothing nice to say about me.” Words and nasty comments said to me or about me become forever a part of my personal self-esteem check-list hidden in the depths of my soul. I could not tell you the wonderful or positive things that have been said about me, but I have a list of ones that broke my heart. I seem to be able to recall those with the utmost detail. Mentally, I can think “How silly that one comment from a person who doesn’t matter isn’t anything”, but my heart is saying:” What?” “What did I do? I am a good person!!!!” I crave to be so strong and brave that what people say about me and think about me doesn’t matter. Unfortunately it becomes a direct hit. I know what my mother would say “F*ck um” God Bless motherly wisdom!
This however, lead me down the mental path of, who have I flung words at? I would put the list here, but it would be long…
Words said in anger, jealousy or fear, are much deadlier then any physical weapon. One of my worst habits is “Oh really? You said that? Well, let me say something 100 times worse and more offensive about you!!” I never just pick a hill to die on, I never stop to the battle is over. *sigh*
I want some “re-do” There are nasty things that have flown out of my very big mouth that I wish I had never said. Things meant to hurt, to lash back and said without thinking. So if a twit could say something like that and hurt me, how have I hurt the people I care about?!?!?!?!?
As much as I hate eating crow, I am a little more aware of the impact my words may have. Lesson received loud and clear. Only now have I finally realized that my life has been and will continue to be; an unending fieldtrip.




Love me or hate me it's still an obsession Love me or hate me that is the question If you love me then thank you If you hate me then f**k you x 2
Lady Sovereign “Love Me, Hate me”

Thursday Thirteen

The ever adorable nephew Kaden...(lips blue courtesy of a lollipop)

To my right is my beautiful sister Jessica.

The above is the picture of the giant pumpkin that was dropped from a crane during a fall festival in Davison, how great is that?????

Thirteen things I love about Fall.

1) The air is crisp and feel's almost electric

2) Hay Rides

3) Fall Festivals

4) Apple Picking

5) Apple Cider

6) The smell of burning leaves

7) The annual watching of "Its the Great Pumpking Charlie Brown"

8) Pumpkins

9) Pumpkin Carving

10)Halloween!!!!!!!!

11) Halloween Decorations

12) Walking through Corn Mazes

13) Seeing Trick or Treaters and remembering how much fun it was to be young and the anticipation of all the candy.

It be "Talk Like a Pirate Day"!!!!!!

Arrrrrrg!

Shiver me timbers you scaly wag! It be "Talk Like a Pirate Day"!!!!!! If you don't believe this sassy wench then check out this link: http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

Host yer sails and head for the horizon! It is the one day of the year we can burn and pilage with our heads and swords held high! Give me, my bottle of rum and me pistol!!!!!!!!!

Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.

Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?

Elizabeth: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me. Do you really think that there is even the slightest chance that they won't see it?

Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?

Will Turner: This is either madness... or brilliance.

Jack Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

Jack Sparrow: Do us a favor. I know it's difficult for you, but please, stay here, and try not to do anything stupid.

Yo Ho Ho! Tis a Pirates life for this lass! :) Off to sail the high sea's of Corporate America and send the enemy to Davey Jones' Locker!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

HOT POCKET!

My favorite comedian, Jim Gaffigan will be in town this November. He is an absolutle and just reading the below quotes from him this morning brought me to tears. Thought I would share.
When you get a chance, absolutley check out his website: http://www.jimgaffigan.com/. This was the best possible thing for me to read this morning. Enjoy!





Jim Gaffigan: They recently invented the breakfast hot pocket, FINALLY. I can’t think of a better way to start the day; Good morning... you’re about to call in sick. Now I can have a Hot Pocket for breakfast, a Hot Pocket for lunch, and be DEAD by dinner. (whisper) Dead Pocket.

Jim Gaffigan: Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen.

Jim Gaffigan: I come from a very big family, nine parents.

Jim Gaffigan: What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, “Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, dunk it in a toilet.”

Jim Gaffigan: Have you ever had the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It’s Hot Pocket inside a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket.

Jim Gaffigan: Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!

Jim Gaffigan: Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It's like 'Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the SOCKS. They'll go great with my sandals. What am I, German

Jim Gaffigan: I only dated one asian girl, but she was very asian, she was a panda.'

Jim Gaffigan: I was looking at a box of hot pockets and they have a warning on the side. It's like 'Warning! You just bought Hot Pockets! Hope you're drunk or heading home to a trailer! You hillbilly enjoy the next NASCAR event!

Jim Gaffigan: I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'

Jim Gaffigan: It's good to be back in New York. I have lived here ten years. I'm originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But the fact of the matter is where I grew up there was something very similar to the Mafia; 4-H.

Jim Gaffigan: My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant'.

Jim Gaffigan: I watch a lot of T.V., I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin. That'll grab you by the horn... what horn?

Jim Gaffigan: Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: 'This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye'.

Jim Gaffigan: Don't worry, I've never heard of me either.

Jim Gaffigan: But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.'
Jim Gaffigan: I'm from Indiana. I know what you're thinking, Indiana...Mafia.

Jim Gaffigan: Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.

Jim Gaffigan: How did we get to the point where we pay for bottled water? This is more waterly than water.

Jim Gaffigan: The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal. Jim Gaffigan: I was watching the animal planet, did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female.

Jim Gaffigan: Have you ever read a book that changed your life? Neither have I.

Jim Gaffigan: When ever you are single, all you see are couples, but when ever you are in a couple, all you see are hookers.

Gingerbread is the devil...

There is was, staring at me like the final scene from the OK Corral.
Easy! Great for kids of all ages! The Halloween version of..*insert grand music* "The Gingerbread House."
My enemy in the world of holiday food fun. I have tried this “easy” and “simple” project twice before. Twice before I failed miserably. The sound of my step-daughters saying “it is okay Becky; you are good at other things”; still echo.
Let me take you back to that first fateful day. It was going to be a page out of “Better Homes and Gardens” How hard can it be to slap some frosting between gingerbread pieces and then decorate? I could start a tradition! Yearly houses of fun created by us! Pictures to scrapbook! Stories to tell!
An hour later as I was using Krazy Glue and a hair dryer to try and salvage the project; I was cursing the Satanist that developed this horrific kit. Gum drops glued to my fingers, pieces of stale gingerbread stuck to the table… “Fun for kids of all ages” MY ARSE! “We will try again girls” One big swipe and it all disappeared into the trash.
Not to be bettered by a house of food, bring on the second try. Carefully measured frosting…everything laid out perfectly…I mine as well have been trying to hold this thing together with soup! Nothing would stick. Back to the glue…glue not working and hair dryer used for glue is melting all the frosting….
How many step-mothers and mothers and grandmothers have done this without issue before me????? How is it possible I was going to fail?!
Maybe this year, I will create the perfect Halloween Gingerbread House and it will be dazzling in its display of cookie ghost’s and gumdrop headstones…or I could step away from that idea and just order one online and scrap pictures of the dog eating it on the table, which is what would most likely happen anyway.
I tip my proverbial hat to you Gingerbread house makers!

Happy Birthday Tony!

From one candle, to 21 in the blink of an eye…
My youngest baby brother celebrated his 21st birthday on Saturday.
Really, where does the time go? Bologna and peanut butter sandwiches and Zelda have given way to a young man with a job and a life all his own. It is cliché but time really does “fly”.
It is wonderful and sad when they go from being your sibling that you look after, to a sibling/friend, that you still worry about, but doesn’t need your help quite as much. So, Happy Birthday Tony! Wishing you all the joy and happiness and nice girls,(not yucky girls that are never good enough for you and don’t even have five year plans) for decades to come!!! I love you!

The Cure said it best… “Friday, I’m in Love”
This week has been very much “Scenes from Oz” for me. My job was moving out of state, and then it wasn’t.
Co-workers in the hallway whose jobs will no longer be “needed” and those were not “invited” to move. Seeing their expressions was so sad.
My puppy ate 6 (yes 6) pair of my shoes.
I decided after a few decades to make peace with my biological father.
Am I the on crushed under the house, getting a heart or heading home?!?!?!?!?
I never enjoyed being bored, but the flying monkeys leaving with my resume was a bit much.
On the other side of the rainbow, I have reconnected with dear friends and family that I have missed more than I want to admit and decided loving someone isn’t that scary after all.
I would click the heels on my sassy red pumps, but they were chewed up by my loving Toto aka Prudence. Ignoring the road home is never a good idea, but taking the long way there is the best possible adventure.
Then again, maybe I am the Wicked Witch of the West and those are MY monkey’s?

(I could only be heartfelt for so long, I almost threw up in my mouth)

I heart my OCD

I have decided that there is no book in existence that is for individual’s who are “at one” with their psychosis and have no desire to 12 step away from them. Mine? I am a control freak. Okay, I have more than one, but that would be the biggest animal in my mental zoo.
I heart my OCD.
I know where it stems from and I truly have no desire to work my away out of it.
I admire people who can let things go and say “I cannot do anything about it” or “Give it up to God”. I cannot. There are so many things that I have been through, that I really didn’t have choice, the thought of not fighting at all times to remain in control of my own destiny seems like madness. Logically, I can look at things and say “I just have to wait and see and go with the flow”. However, parallel to that mental process, my soul is screaming and shouting and I feel ready to break into a melody of songs from “Les Miserables”.
Meditation?
Nope. I tried it; and I just end up mentally making lists of things that need to get done.
Prayer?
I end up saying “God, please let everything go the way I feel it should, etc, etc.
Even as a child I would worry and fret if things were not going to whatever I was told the plan was. Which, I am pretty sure isn’t something I should be praying to the divine for anyway.
I suppose I could write the book?
“You and your need to be the Captain”
“You are okay and you are in Charge”
“Always being in control and loving it”
“You and your OCD, partner for life”

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen Reasons why Ghost Hunters is Fabulous

1) Plumbers by day; TAPS by night, how great is that?
2) Jason is hot!
3) They don’t believe everything is a ghost
4) They still get scared.
5) Jason could be staring a ghost in the hairy eye ball and still say “Well, you could just be a figment of my imagination or trick of light, still not convinced”.
6) They have Reality TV Drama. (Brian leaves, Brian comes back, Brian still gets into trouble)
7) It scares me to watch it.
8) They went to the hotel that inspired Stephen King to write “The Shining.
9 They are true to their science and do not charge for their services.
10) They are always kind and gracious to the home owners and genuinely want to help them.
11) The team has a sense of humor.
12) They are braver then most people I know, sitting in the dark with just a camera.
13) Who doesn’t love other people getting scared and crawling around scary places??????

As the job turns...

J.D.: This, this isn't like being a janitor, okay! It's not just like something everybody can do. Janitor: Oh. So you can do my stuff, but I can't do yours?
J.D.: Yes!
Janitor: Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?
J.D.: I don't know... the... rough side of a sponge?
[silence]
Janitor: Dammit.



Carla: Fine, you can't live with Elliot, but you're not living with us so get your crap out by Friday.
J.D.: Friday? Friday's my birthday. I've already e-vited everyone to a party at our place.
Carla: Whose place?
J.D.: Your place. Look I can't just un-e-vite everyone. I've got two e-yeses and 24 e-maybes. That's a lot of e-sponses.
Carla: Bambi, I'm gonna put my e-foot up your ass.
J.D.: It's a Mexican themed fiesta on the first anniversary of my 29th birthday. That means I'm turning thirty. Donde? 56 Walnut Drive. Cuando? Thank you for asking, ocho-thirty until upside down question mark. Sombreros at the door. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooh!
Turk: I'll be there.
J.D.: Gracias, amigo.
[to Carla] J.D.: I borrowed one of your dictionaries.

You can take the pencil box away...

I have been done dealing with the first day of school for...let's just leave it at a very long time.
However, just walking into a store and seeing the display's of "back to school" weaponary still fill's me with dread,anticipation and an urge to have a well organized desk.
"Oh Trapper Keeper circa 1984, where art thou?"
Trust me, I never want to go back to the good ol days and relieve any of it. I absolutley enjoy picking out my own clothes and not having a bed time. But there are times, when it would be nice to just rest in the assurance that my parent's are taking care of whatever it is, and I just have to worry about what Saturday morning cartoons to watch. :)