Sometimes it doesn't take a ton of bricks, just a dvd...

Alice:
I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!

Richard Hovey:
I do not know beneath what sky nor on what seas shall be thy fate; I only know it shall be high, I only know it shall be great.

Where does your faith come from?
You, yes you reading my blog post. I have always had faith of one type or another. I have even had really great discussions with friends and lovers who had none. Zip. Zero. Ziltch. But I have always been able to explain my reasons for why there is something bigger and greater then us. A divine that loves us, watches over us, and that there is something bigger and better when this field trip here is over. I have also been known to say "There is no such thing as coincidence".

That said, there have many times in my life, when I felt like throwing in the towel. I can throw a tremendous pity party. I can include you on the next invite list. Poor, pitiful me. Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, and now I shall just eat worms.

I think because I am so stubborn and generally blocking out what I do not want to see or hear, that any signs given to be by the Divine have to be unconventional. This, was something that hit me during a Sunday afternoon pity party while watching Season Two of Ghost Whisperer, the entire thing, eating Oreo’s and wondering why oh why I am cursed. (At this point you can take 10 seconds to roll your eyes).

Faith isn’t easy. Up until now I have taken it for granted and whined when I felt I was being let down in this lifetime. In fact, true faith is hard. My destiny is not going to be handed to me on a piece of fine China with Map quest directions and a nice cup of tea.
How fabulous would that be btw???

I, am officially declaring that I have been an apathetic and uber lazy person of faith. I throw my hands to the sky and agree that cause and effect and whining, has kicked my arse.
I have no fing clue where my faith comes from. It just is. Lucky enough to faith ingrained into my soul, but never nourished. I have to fight to make it stronger. Treat it like the gift that it is, not take it for granted. No matter how much I ponder something, that doesn’t change what is fact. No amount of shoe shopping and oreo's is going to give me resolution. No one from above is going to show up and participate at my pity party. I am confident they will show up when I take responsibility for my destiny.
The Ghost Whisperer sign? I decided that I don't want my soul stuck here with any unfinished business, I am cranky enough as it is without throwing "limbo" into the mix. :)


Mind you, taking this new responsibilty with fabu new shoes...