As the job turns...

J.D.: This, this isn't like being a janitor, okay! It's not just like something everybody can do. Janitor: Oh. So you can do my stuff, but I can't do yours?
J.D.: Yes!
Janitor: Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?
J.D.: I don't know... the... rough side of a sponge?
[silence]
Janitor: Dammit.



Carla: Fine, you can't live with Elliot, but you're not living with us so get your crap out by Friday.
J.D.: Friday? Friday's my birthday. I've already e-vited everyone to a party at our place.
Carla: Whose place?
J.D.: Your place. Look I can't just un-e-vite everyone. I've got two e-yeses and 24 e-maybes. That's a lot of e-sponses.
Carla: Bambi, I'm gonna put my e-foot up your ass.
J.D.: It's a Mexican themed fiesta on the first anniversary of my 29th birthday. That means I'm turning thirty. Donde? 56 Walnut Drive. Cuando? Thank you for asking, ocho-thirty until upside down question mark. Sombreros at the door. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooh!
Turk: I'll be there.
J.D.: Gracias, amigo.
[to Carla] J.D.: I borrowed one of your dictionaries.