I heart my OCD

I have decided that there is no book in existence that is for individual’s who are “at one” with their psychosis and have no desire to 12 step away from them. Mine? I am a control freak. Okay, I have more than one, but that would be the biggest animal in my mental zoo.
I heart my OCD.
I know where it stems from and I truly have no desire to work my away out of it.
I admire people who can let things go and say “I cannot do anything about it” or “Give it up to God”. I cannot. There are so many things that I have been through, that I really didn’t have choice, the thought of not fighting at all times to remain in control of my own destiny seems like madness. Logically, I can look at things and say “I just have to wait and see and go with the flow”. However, parallel to that mental process, my soul is screaming and shouting and I feel ready to break into a melody of songs from “Les Miserables”.
Meditation?
Nope. I tried it; and I just end up mentally making lists of things that need to get done.
Prayer?
I end up saying “God, please let everything go the way I feel it should, etc, etc.
Even as a child I would worry and fret if things were not going to whatever I was told the plan was. Which, I am pretty sure isn’t something I should be praying to the divine for anyway.
I suppose I could write the book?
“You and your need to be the Captain”
“You are okay and you are in Charge”
“Always being in control and loving it”
“You and your OCD, partner for life”